This story I have dedicated to the Swedish man who belongs to endangered species.
When the first Swedish man was created he was such a pleasure for the eyes. He was tall, broad shouldered, muscular, his eyes blue like the sky and his hair blond like gold. True, God had created many other men before him, German, British, French, Italian, but none of them was so handsome like the Swede. Many of them had faults.
British was too short, German arrogant, Frenchman too talkative, while the Swede was perfect. The others looked at him in awe and felt envy.
Before God had sent him to Sweden he told him to be careful. "I gave you life and perfect looks but now you have to manage your existence in the best way. Be prudent and do not let yourself lead astray by certain creatures." God said to him.
The Swedish man wandered the Sweden from the South to the North and relished every moment of his life. Everyone liked him., mammoths, bears, wolves, goats and sheep. There was plenty of fish in the rivers and lakes, and the Swedish man knew well how to use his spear and kill wild animals. Sometimes he picked berries and even made moonshine. Now and then he met other men. British came very often complaining over the overcrowded Britain. "Too many Mammoths" they said. And in the last time they got animals from Asia, like tigers and apes. They loved the silence of Sweden and woods without humans.
At the weekends the Swedish man would meet other men from Norway, Finland and Denmark and they would drink moonshine and shout and sing. It was paradise on Earth where envy and hatred did not exist.
However, one day the Swedish man strolled in the mountain, enjoying birds chirping and scent of the flowers. It was a lovely summer time when everything is Sweden wake up and boils with energy.
Suddenly, he saw a strange creature. It had a long blond hair, it was dressed in a tight leather dress and on the upper part of its body it had two big melons protruding behind the dress. The Swedish man was afraid and excited at the same time. The creature was strange and gazed at him with its big blue eyes.
"Who are you," he stammered, holding his spear in the hand in the case that the creature attacked him-
The creature protruded its chin in defiance, folded its arms and said staring at him, "I am a strong Swedish woman!" This was a moment when the Swedish man started to use word "she" for the first time. He was speechless. He did not know anything about the Swedish woman but his well hung penis reacted immediately and he felt that she was something good.
"Please, come to my cottage," she said, We can drink coffee and also there is enough food. You like potatoes?"
The Swedish man followed her like a well trained dog and before he could say anything he found himself in a cosy cottage eating boiled potatoes and goat cheese.
"Let's make children!" the Swedish woman said and she took off all her clothes leaving the Swedish man in a state of shock. He did not know anything about making children but in the blink of an eye she jumped over him, put his penis inside her vagina and ordered him what do do. The Swedish man forgot what God told him and enjoyed her body and her huge breasts,pressing them with his strong hands.
"Please wash the plates and forks! she ordered him after sex and the Swedish man did exactly what he was ordered. It was the first Swedish man in the history who was washing the dishes and cleaning in the presence of the Swedish woman.
When he wanted to leave she took her clothes off again and pushed him to the ground throwing herself on him and rubbing his penis which somehow found its way in her vagina again.
"The best is that you stay here," she said. "It is warm and nice and you do not need to wander any more. "
The Swedish man made a mistake again and stayed. He was washing and cleaning while she was outside hunting. After 9 months the child was born and the Swedish man had much to do from the morning to late in the night. He lost all his friends who passed by occasionally and could not believe his own eyes.
The Swedish man was not handsome any more. He was growing old fast and his hands became gnarled and work worn. More children were born and he had to take care of all of them. She was usually outside hunting and having fun with other women and men!
When the Swedish man became old and dying he asked God to forgive him his sins. But God told him. "You ungrateful Swedish man. I have warned you but you did not follow my advice. Instead, you followed your penis! May your sons and all Swedish men after you be cursed. May you have bodies of men but behave like women. May immigrants take your women and you work hard and pay highest taxes in the world!"
Indeed, we who live in Sweden know that Swedish men are still under God's curse!
When the first Swedish man was created he was such a pleasure for the eyes. He was tall, broad shouldered, muscular, his eyes blue like the sky and his hair blond like gold. True, God had created many other men before him, German, British, French, Italian, but none of them was so handsome like the Swede. Many of them had faults.
British was too short, German arrogant, Frenchman too talkative, while the Swede was perfect. The others looked at him in awe and felt envy.
Before God had sent him to Sweden he told him to be careful. "I gave you life and perfect looks but now you have to manage your existence in the best way. Be prudent and do not let yourself lead astray by certain creatures." God said to him.
The Swedish man wandered the Sweden from the South to the North and relished every moment of his life. Everyone liked him., mammoths, bears, wolves, goats and sheep. There was plenty of fish in the rivers and lakes, and the Swedish man knew well how to use his spear and kill wild animals. Sometimes he picked berries and even made moonshine. Now and then he met other men. British came very often complaining over the overcrowded Britain. "Too many Mammoths" they said. And in the last time they got animals from Asia, like tigers and apes. They loved the silence of Sweden and woods without humans.
At the weekends the Swedish man would meet other men from Norway, Finland and Denmark and they would drink moonshine and shout and sing. It was paradise on Earth where envy and hatred did not exist.
However, one day the Swedish man strolled in the mountain, enjoying birds chirping and scent of the flowers. It was a lovely summer time when everything is Sweden wake up and boils with energy.
Suddenly, he saw a strange creature. It had a long blond hair, it was dressed in a tight leather dress and on the upper part of its body it had two big melons protruding behind the dress. The Swedish man was afraid and excited at the same time. The creature was strange and gazed at him with its big blue eyes.
"Who are you," he stammered, holding his spear in the hand in the case that the creature attacked him-
The creature protruded its chin in defiance, folded its arms and said staring at him, "I am a strong Swedish woman!" This was a moment when the Swedish man started to use word "she" for the first time. He was speechless. He did not know anything about the Swedish woman but his well hung penis reacted immediately and he felt that she was something good.
"Please, come to my cottage," she said, We can drink coffee and also there is enough food. You like potatoes?"
The Swedish man followed her like a well trained dog and before he could say anything he found himself in a cosy cottage eating boiled potatoes and goat cheese.
"Let's make children!" the Swedish woman said and she took off all her clothes leaving the Swedish man in a state of shock. He did not know anything about making children but in the blink of an eye she jumped over him, put his penis inside her vagina and ordered him what do do. The Swedish man forgot what God told him and enjoyed her body and her huge breasts,pressing them with his strong hands.
"Please wash the plates and forks! she ordered him after sex and the Swedish man did exactly what he was ordered. It was the first Swedish man in the history who was washing the dishes and cleaning in the presence of the Swedish woman.
When he wanted to leave she took her clothes off again and pushed him to the ground throwing herself on him and rubbing his penis which somehow found its way in her vagina again.
"The best is that you stay here," she said. "It is warm and nice and you do not need to wander any more. "
The Swedish man made a mistake again and stayed. He was washing and cleaning while she was outside hunting. After 9 months the child was born and the Swedish man had much to do from the morning to late in the night. He lost all his friends who passed by occasionally and could not believe his own eyes.
The Swedish man was not handsome any more. He was growing old fast and his hands became gnarled and work worn. More children were born and he had to take care of all of them. She was usually outside hunting and having fun with other women and men!
When the Swedish man became old and dying he asked God to forgive him his sins. But God told him. "You ungrateful Swedish man. I have warned you but you did not follow my advice. Instead, you followed your penis! May your sons and all Swedish men after you be cursed. May you have bodies of men but behave like women. May immigrants take your women and you work hard and pay highest taxes in the world!"
Indeed, we who live in Sweden know that Swedish men are still under God's curse!
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